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Deviant for 8 Years
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wasted youth
hey, where are you from?
from wasted youth.
i am from a mad sad youth, from
dreams covered in mist, from old
broken homes, from funeral sobs
and weathered books, from empty
seashells, from crushed memories
and faded photographs, from moon-
light scars and rainbow moans, from
untamed flowers to infernos, from
childish fears and "Berlin Wall"
barriers, from moments of glee to
months of melancholy, from a place
that reeked of loneliness and dead
naked bodies, from post-orgasm
fucks, from beautiful screams, from
this & that & there & nowhere &
did i scare you away?
no, i don't think so. at least not yet.
that's good.
:iconloverz116:loverz116 8 27
dear dreams.
dear dreams,
you are not worthy of a long letter and
i'm sorry i broke you with my tongue and
you spill secrets i never want to see and
yet you tempt me to sleep forever and
please fuck me to the dream world.
:iconloverz116:loverz116 7 8
forever or never
(a boy and a girl drove all night for their "forever")
enjoy life, he said.
screw life, she said.
it's that simple, he yelled.
it is not that simple, she yelled.
we make life complicated, he whispered.
but we don't mean to, she whispered.
enjoy life, he sobbed.
i'm trying, she sobbed.
(but the boy and the girl crashed blindingly into "never")
:iconloverz116:loverz116 18 26
dear parents.
Dear Mom,
You gave me a house.
You gave me a roof.
You gave me a room.
But you're my home sweet home.
So try to keep breathing.
Dear Dad,
Do me a favor:
swallow all those pills.
I will miss you.
:iconloverz116:loverz116 9 17
dear crush.
Dear crush (and crush),
Identical twins. Handsome boys.
One is wild enough to sleep around with those sun kissed lips.  
Other is too shy to expose his moonlight scarred body.
I want you and you in my bed.
I want to explore your and your hip bones,
mark you and you with my feverish hands,
taste you and you in my mouth.
I want you two to grind into each other with
your and your unholy, bird-like, fragile bones.
One is wild enough to see the (im)perfect world with those crystal glass eyes.
Other is too shy to search for bullets to penetrate through his pain.
You and you are the best crushes to crush on.
:iconloverz116:loverz116 6 18
patchwork roof
dear you,
i need to say this:
i. he tells me i'm too far on the edge,
that i will soon fall off.
but i never listen to him and
shall continue to not hear his cracked cries.
he tells me to take a step toward him,
that he will fix me.
but i think his golden eyes are eerily   
and shall not fall for his warm words.  
ii. he said, "summer is here, doll."
i can choose to believe him
but i rather not.
the heat is never a good friend.
he said, "autumn is coming, baby."
i can choose not to believe him
but i rather believe.
the falling leaves is a great enemy.
iii. at night he would trace my ashy scars
with his pale crooked finger.
he doesn't know i know of his midnight habit.
in daylight he would be the
one to give me the scars.
he knows i know of his morning habit.
iv. he wrote a tiny letter,
i love you.
he wrote a long letter,
i'm in love with you.
v. some days i don't know who i love
or who i love more
but he and he are one.
it d
:iconloverz116:loverz116 6 22
i hear you
tell me you can't love
but don't tell me you can't love
:iconloverz116:loverz116 6 0
hey. i'm really tired, did you know that?
you probably didn't, not with all that white substance still partying in your body.
still, i shouldn't be here. maybe i should be back in my room, my bed, my room, my...damn i was about to repeat myself.
i think i wanted to say something important here but i am really too fucked up and i like to use the word fuck cause fuck could mean so many things.
right now, i want him to fuck me. in your bed. in the daylight where you can't possibly mistake me for someone else. but that would be too cruel, right?
hey. i'm really tired, you know that?
i can hear you still partying and the drinks burning your heart to liquid. oh wait, that's just not possible. and this whole-love-each-other-thing is getting really old. so are the drugs and the parties and the alcohol and the sex...
the sex is good.
i'm ranting now. you don't like that. you're tuning me out, aren't you? fuck you.
hey. i'm really tired, you know?
but i should just leave this place, and leave yo
:iconloverz116:loverz116 6 0
one sentence
i'm S O R R Y for h u r t i n g you
but you got to B E L I E V E that
it was n e v e r my I N T E N T I O N to h u r t you.
:iconloverz116:loverz116 9 9
Mature content
Ugly Boy and Girl :iconloverz116:loverz116 9 0
let's play suicide
"i'm sorry."
"for what?"
"i just want to end it."
"...end what?"
"my life."
"say you'll miss me."
i was six years old
he was not too young to do it
i continued to play life after
he was 13 years old.
"i'll miss you."
"now cover your ears."
"it'll be loud."
"what will be loud?"
i wish i covered my eyes
i heard bangbangbang everywhere
my ears never stopped hurting since
my white dress was ruined by ruby dots.   
"my death."
"what kind of game is this?"
" over, kiddo."
:iconloverz116:loverz116 27 41
the truth
:iconloverz116:loverz116 9 13
im scared of heights
"Damn it...come on, don't do this to me."
"Don't do what?"
"Don't leave me."
"But you left me."
"What can I do?"
"You can actually live."
"I can't live...I just exist."
"At least you got me."
"I think I love you too."
"That is a fucking lie."
"Then pretend it is the truth."
"I'm tired of pretending."
"What if I slip and fall?"
"I'll tell everyone you slipped and fell."
" you think they will believe that?"
"It will be a miracle if they did."
"Why are you crying?"
"Cause how will I ever forgive myself for letting you jump?"
"But I didn't jump...I fell."
"Oh, I know. But my eyes will say the opposite."
I breath out my last laugh as
he takes a lunge off the cliff.
The last thing I see is his smile.
The last thing I hear is his screams.
The last thing I taste is vanilla death.
The last thing I feel is sad, just sad.
The last thing I do is follow him.
I wonder what our conversation would have
gone like
:iconloverz116:loverz116 10 38
dear god
the BIBLE said kids like us are bound to fall into HELL cause we find warm happiness under the white covers in your bed in the morning, afternoon, nighttime with our wandering fingers on each others' small naked bodies and i say AMEN cause i know i will never walk down the aisle to you
:iconloverz116:loverz116 6 20
in the end
i know he thinks IHATEHIM and the reality is IWANTHIM but i'm just a NUCLEARBOMB waiting to explode his OXYGENTANKOFLOVE up whether i want it or not and i want a HAPPYENDING with him but the end is already here
:iconloverz116:loverz116 5 25
happy couple
so you say ILOVEYOU but you can't TOUCHME without shying away at the sight of my SCARREDWRISTS.
:iconloverz116:loverz116 20 32

Random Favourites

Stranger by ShanieQ Stranger :iconshanieq:ShanieQ 101 28
The first time you realize he's lying is a Sunday. He coughs a couple times, maybe once or twice, and you find yourself reaching out, asking, "Are you okay?"
It's habitual, something you always do. It's just reflexive, years of politeness grilled into your head. He knows that, he knows that.
And yet he glares at you suspiciously. "I'm fine."
A small voice in the back of your head says, 'Liar' and you wonder just where that came from. Because you know he'd never lie to you, you've been best friends for far too long for that.
But that's the only logical explanation as to why he's staring at you as though he's trying to puzzle something out. Maybe he's just wondering how you could possibly know he's not telling the truth...
The second time you realize he's lying, he's at school. The professor approaches, asking for the essay he was supposed to write.
"I don't have it." His face is troubled, worried, and, as that tiny voice inside your head points
:iconkazumisangel:kazumisangel 69 76
winter's child
feathered grey and frail
as smoke; this girl
       (she's only seventeen)
spoke in perfect fourths
and whispered thoughts
of winter's burden and
an autumn's fall
a delicate crystal snowflake
child; this girl
       (she looks so young)
smiled with bruises in her eyes and
promises on her tongue but
all who chanced a look
saw grief
and carried on
what a shame that
such a girl
       (she'll never grow old)
who dreamed of catching the
fallen in her pocket and
nursing them back
to the sky
was bound to the earth
with spider-silk chains
and could never reach
the heavens
in time
:icony43:Y43 44 63
Messengers by XIthLion Messengers :iconxithlion:XIthLion 50 15 Alien birth by Ophelia-Overdose Alien birth :iconophelia-overdose:Ophelia-Overdose 995 120 It's A Wonderland Out Here by pinkparis1233 It's A Wonderland Out Here :iconpinkparis1233:pinkparis1233 228 51 Empty by ABXeye Empty :iconabxeye:ABXeye 460 56 You found me by RiluriCanta You found me :iconriluricanta:RiluriCanta 545 81
you'd think you'd really know a person
after seeing past her skin, blood, and bones but
scattered red and white fragments only tell a story when they're whole
and i am no puzzle master
and you'd think you'd really remember a person
after memorizing her every curve, line, and imperfection but
she has painted her face many times over now
and i cannot see through walls
and you'd think you'd really understand a person
after watching her bend, break, and beg but
reconstruction is so very complicated and messy
and i do not have a map
:iconletyourspiritsoar:letyourspiritsoar 8 18
smoke tea by nimnimity smoke tea :iconnimnimity:nimnimity 1,813 157 Mea Culpa by LeJournalDAmelie
Mature content
Mea Culpa :iconlejournaldamelie:LeJournalDAmelie 489 111
maybe she'll snap her wrists
doing cartwheels
or her ankle
dancing drunken at some rave
maybe she'll go through a windshield
and have twinkling bits of glass
stuck in her face
she's so pretty in her casts
damaged so perfectly
the prettiest thing I've ever seen
I only get to hold her when she's injured
I only get to kiss her where she's sore
:icon38-counts-of-battery:38-counts-of-battery 38 8
love is when the butterflies
in your stomach brush the
dust off their wings and learn
to fly again…
:iconbluetreehugger:bluetreehugger 26 16
you can't see the tears
as they roll down my face
because the rain,
oh gentle mocking rain, hides them
in its passive wash
of these pains,
on my open wounds
beat me to the ground
and take my life
i long for everything i can't have,
and am given nothing more.
life after life,
i am stained.
oh, rain,
see these scars i have
these gashes that tears have slit open
on my heart,
in my soul,
if i even have a soul
or anything else to hold onto.
i long for the end,
and i long for a new beginning.
alas, rain, you have swept down the drain,
taking me with you.
:iconunforgivenrose:UnforgivenRose 4 9


i forget about deviantart but i keep remembering certain people on here that
i once felt or still do feel close to through the talks. i think you know who you are.
at least i hope you know who you are.

i just realized that deviantart doesn't hold the same sentimental that it once had...
a year ago? wow. the only things tying me back to this wonderful, devious site is
my poems and y'all.

i thought i would be here more often. i thought i would finally write again.
it hasn't really happened, obviously and that's sad. this site, for quite a long time
in my book, was special and dear to me just because it was a place where i could
unlock my little twisted fucked-up mind for safe-keeping.

this sounds like a good-bye. at least for a while, officially.

P.S. who is going to adelphi university?
P.S. who has facebook and is willing to show the other side to yourself?
P.S. i think i could never ever officially leave this site.
  • Listening to: All Around Me
  • Reading: the immortal life of henrietta lacks


loverz116's Profile Picture
Rina Marie
United States
amateur writer.


Add a Comment:
cowboyB0B Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks so much for the fav and support :aww:
(1 Reply)
storyofmylife054 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2011
Thank you for the :+fav:, love! :heart:
(1 Reply)
deviantdeeva Featured By Owner May 27, 2011
Wow! Those are some pretty amazing thoughts rolling around in your head. You are literally "rolling in the deep". Poetic justice at its finest. Im a new fan. :)
(1 Reply)
hankleshanks Featured By Owner May 17, 2011
Thanks for the fave! :>
(1 Reply)
storyofmylife054 Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2011
:cake: :party: HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE!!!!!!!! :party: :cake:
:heart: :hug: :heart:
Hope your birthday is as utterly amazing and awesome as you! Love you honey <3
(1 Reply)
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